Names For Vaginas

I have kind of a problem referring to my vagina and vulva, because I have yet to find a name for them that satisfies me. I don't like the words vagina, or vulva or labia, and I'm a little unclear as to what to call the collection of all these anatomical parts; the whole internal-external unit.

I guess genitals, but I don't like that word either. A thoughtful somebody emailed me "vagina-tachi," where tachi is apparently a Japanese word translating to "group" or "and company." The vaginal crew.

There are other words that refer to the complete system (cunt and yoni come to mind), but I have yet to bond with any particular name. They usually either strike me as too vulgar or, more often, too airy-fairy/enchanted garden-y (flower and orchid come to mind).

Most often, I refer to the whole entity as my unit, which you have probably noticed in reading through the site. This term is not unique to my genitals, but since making this site and being forced to refer to them much more frequently and bluntly than ever before, 'unit' has become a necessary and specific name, at least around the house.

I am also fairly comfortable discussing my "mound," which is a name I apply only the grippable bump formed by my vulva and the fat on top of my pubic bone. It is the external, visable part of my unit, and doesn't really address the internal-ness (internality?) of it. 'Unit' is all-encompassing.

My beloved boy sometimes calls it my mound of womanhood, to be silly. It is kind of nice to have a mound though. It is a very hefty sounding word.

Sometimes I say cunt or pussy, but not usually in reference to my own body. I've been getting into muff lately, but mostly as a joke, and not in reference to myself. Just in the abstract "a muff" sense, or as "muff diver." Also, I usually think of "muff" as referring to only the fur. My dad considers "beaver" to refer to only the fur, but I think of it as the whole, err, crew.

Most of the time I am very vague about referring to my vagina. It gets called It or a place, or The place. This was more pronounced before Unit took over. I also like the word lap, because all the meanings of it are pleasant and it is a nice syllable overall. I think crotch is an awful word.

Although I refer to my vagina with a positive attitude and occasionally with affection, I have never given it a pet name, or referred to it as "my girl" or anything. I try not to refer to it as a separate entity, or endow it with imaginary personality traits or free will.

Finally, here are some grand lists of names for female genitals, categorized as best as I can. Feel free to send important additions or comments about the lists, particularly if you know an actual etymology for a word I list as nonsense sounds or random syllables (wee-wee, for instance).

Firstly though, thank you to all the euros who have written me to explain the origins of the word "fanny." I was curious as to whether it was originally a word for something else, like pussy, that got called into service for referring to female genitals, or whether it was a word that got made up, like hoo-hoo, exclusively for use in this field. Over here in Canada land, a fanny is a bum, so I was short of relevant information (incidentally, thanks also to the British gent who related his reaction to arriving in the U.S. and hearing someone use the term "fanny pack").

OK, lists. Some of these words refer to specific parts of the vaginal-vulval entity, and some refer to the thing in general.

Euphemistic, roughly from more positive/enchanted garden to more negative/vulgar"

* mound of womanhood (or Venus), handful of woman, womanhood; vague, often appreciative, equations of vulvas and vaginas to femininity in general
* flower, fruit, bud, rose, cherry; other frilly, lush or fertile plant matter
* conch, orchid; other structurally layered or complex plant or animal
* friend, sister, aunt; other amicable or feminine persona
* center, heart, source; especially of femininity, fertility, or sexuality
* place, temple, house; alone or "of delights, wonders, pleasure, warmth, etc."
* muff, muffin, kitten, puff; other soft, fluffy or furry beings
* fanny, ethyl, suzy; female personal names
* unit, thing; universal descriptors
* lap, nether regions, down there; other approximate locations
* no-no, private area, parts, zone; other off-limits, hush-hush description
* wee-wee, bug; other nonsense words sometimes used for genitals of either gender
* pool, deep sea, wetness; other slipperiness and wetness descriptors
* crevice, lips, crack, smile; other descriptors of a split in flesh
* pussy, beaver, bearded clam; other animal with implied furry and wet parts
* hole, tunnel, (love) pocket, chimney, mouth, (magic) cave, box; other descriptors of internal, and implicitly passive, compartments
* yin-yang, charms; references to magical/mystical things
* snatch, trap; implying something dangerous or inescapable
* meat, sweet meats, taint meat, meat napkin; meat-related names for passive flesh

clinical, blunt or unambiguous names

* yoni (American Indian term)
* cunt
* vagina, vulva, clitoris, labia; anatomical names
* twat, cooter, cooch, hoo; nonsense words specific to femme genitals, vulgar or melodramatic
* rattlesnake canyon, wizard's sleeve, y-clef, etc.; all the goofy schoolyard (and rap song) monikers that play up the nature of the beast rather than play it down

I know there are bound to be tons of names that I have never heard, and I'm not really looking to make a comprehensive list here because I never use most of the names anyway so it wouldn't be very useful. The main group of names that I often notice I'm missing is slang from Europe, particularly Britain. Why these haven't migrated over here I don't know (maybe we have enough), but I do notice that email from Euro land sometimes amuses me with new words like minge and the ever-enigmantic fanny.